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The key to securing a job is lying!!!
So I can now tick another resolution off my list, since I’ve managed to get a job. A husband would have been ideal, but a job will do for now. Sales!!! Hmmm, I can’t wait to start forcing money out of people. I had to indulge in a number of white lies in the interview to get the job, as being honest in previous interviews clearly wasn’t working out. Although, I prefer to think of it as extreme exaggeration, rather than actual untruths. Maggie works in sales and she loves it but she’s more mercenary than I am. She helped me structure my lies for the interview, as she knew the type of questions they’d ask.
Lie 1: “I’m a gym buff, and I’m training for the marathon because I like a challenge and goals.” So I do on occasion go to the gym and walk on the treadmill, and I do have a goal to find a husband.
Lie 2: “I go to a drama group every weekend because I love human interaction.” I do actually love human interaction.
Lie 3: “I strive for perfection constantly.” This is true. I’m constantly looking for ways to make myself better looking; I’m thinking a nose job when I start earning.
Lie 4: “I dream about money.” Not entirely a lie.
Lie 5: “I cant stand doing nothing. I have to be out doing things, I’m like a new engine constantly ready to go.” I don’t remember the last time I talked so much shit, although I was very convincing. I almost believed myself. I figure as long as no one asks to come to my drama group or watch me in the marathon, I’ll be good. Although once I start working and I make sales, I don’t think they’ll care about the white lies I told because actually isn’t sales all about being able to talk rubbish to people? Probably not the right attitude, but I have a new job so who cares. Let’s just hope I can rise to the challenge. I don’t see why I wouldn’t be able to since we get a week of sales training first.
So the New Year is off to a good start, a new job, a sense of fulfillment after my day of charity work and now all I need is a boyfriend/husband/person to buy me things. Maybe I’ll meet someone at my new job. Probably not though, previous experience of going out with guys who work in sales hasn’t been great. They’ve always been a bit too smooth and have turned out to be full of crap. It’s only January, maybe I’ll just focus on the new job for now. Unless one of the three guys I exchanged numbers with last night texts me. I shouldn’t have drunk so much! I probably told them a bunch of white lies too. I do have a habit of telling people I’m a gym fanatic; the truth is I’m a couch potato but I don’t think that would impress people. #Sunday hanging.