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aviation, coffeeshop, Cyprus Airways, politics, Opinions

IT HAS become an annual February tradition for the taxpayer to fork out a few tens of millions of euro to save a state-owned airline.

In 2010, we generously gave €35 million to Eurocypria, which closed down before the year was out. Last year we kindly offered Cyprus Airways €25 million in compensation to supposedly cover the losses it had been incurring because it could not fly through Turkish air-space.

And this year we are looking at a donation of between €20 and €30 million (nobody has mentioned a figure yet) in the form of a capital increase. The pretence the cash injection is not a state subsidy must be maintained if we are to fool the EU. 

If it is not fooled, not only would the money have to be returned, but the government would also have to pay a hefty fine. The policy on the matter is of the ‘we’ll worry about it when the time comes, but not before’ variety. 

A clever policy considering that by the time the EU makes a decision Tof and his comrades might not be in power and someone else would be called on to clear the mess and think of another ingenious reason to give a few more millions to the national carrier.

IT IS NOT all doom and gloom. By next February, finance minister Kikis Kazamias could have found the strategic idiot to buy the government’s 69.5 per cent stake in the company, and the taxpayer would not have to make the annual cash donation. 

Everyone seems convinced that finding a ‘strategic investor’ would be a piece of cake, that all we had to do was place an advert in air industry magazines and there would be a queue of airline companies engaged in a bidding war for the privilege of investing strategically in a loss-making company with huge debts, a crippling wage bill and super-irresponsible unions.

The big question is why do we insist that the investor has to be ‘strategic’? If an ‘insane’ investor offered to buy the airline and give it to his kids as a Christmas present would we turn him down? Why are we limiting the pool of potential buyers by excluding non-strategic investors?

We like deluding ourselves. Not only are we certain we will find a strategic investor, but politicians have also been setting conditions for any new owner. He or she would have to agree to keep loss-making routes, honour staff collective agreements etc. We have adopted the sales-pitch of someone selling a gold-mine.

DEPUTIES did not do a very good sales promotion for Cyprus Airways in Thursday’s House debate, during which they spoke about everything that was wrong with the airline – its management, overpaid pilots (average salary €140,000), overstaffing, big losses, lunatic investments (Hellas Jet which cost €80m).

We also heard that during the Clerides government, the airline’s employees doubled. At the time whoever went to the government seeking a cushy government job for him or a member of his family would be hired by the Cyprus Airways catering department.

It became a running joke that people with government connections but no qualifications or great intelligence would always get a job at the CY catering department.

PRESS reports claimed that two airlines showed an interest in buying our national carrier – Middle East Airlines and Aeroflot – because they wanted an EU base. The company refused to confirm or deny the information.

Will it be a case of Mother Russia to the rescue yet again? After saving our bankrupt economy will she also save our bankrupt airline? We certainly hope so, because I cannot think of a better punishment for the spoilt, overpaid and underworked employees of Cyprus Airways than being managed by Aeroflot.

It will hopefully introduce Russia’s work and pay conditions, in which unions have no say, to our ailing airline.

SPEAKING of Russian saviours, the head honchos of the B of C are having sleepless nights over the rights issue that would boost its capital base, in accordance with EU requirements.

The bank’s Russian saviour, who bought close to nine per cent of the bank’s stock when the B of C share was €5 (it is now a ninth of that price), has reportedly said he might not exercise his right to buy the new shares he is entitled to, setting off alarm bells about a possible failure of the share issue.

His stance has nothing to do with a loss of confidence in the dear old B of C and everything to do with the divorce settlement his estranged wife is demanding. He had offered her a generous settlement in the region of €800 million but she reportedly wants three times that amount. The solution for him would be to put his fortune in a trust, where it would be safe from his wife’s lawyers.

The problem is that we do not have trust laws in Kyrpoulla and the Russian billionaire is threatening to take his money to a place that has them. A bill for trusts has been prepared, but it is stuck at a House committee with deputies, for some peculiar reason, not in a rush to process it and send it to the plenum for approval.

Only the commie deputies of AKEL have shown sympathy for the plight of the poor Russian billionaire, pushing for the approval of the trust bill and attacking their colleagues who were dragging their feet.

Deputies of the other parties have been receiving anguished calls from B of C head honchos imploring them to approve the bill because the bank’s biggest shareholder was threatening not to exercise his buying rights in the share issue. 

The big question is why the deputies of the other parties, who do not hate billionaire capitalists or greedy banks half as much as the commies of AKEL do, are unwilling to do our biggest bank a small favour and approve the trusts bill? 

ANOTHER person was dragged to court this week on charges of using insulting language in public. The insults were directed at the comrade with the ample posterior. 

The defendant, a 20-year-old woman, allegedly went outside the presidential palace on August 17 last year and shouted: “F**k Christofias. Christofias die.” Members of the presidential guard reported the case to the police and charges were brought against her. She pleaded ‘not guilty’ and trial has been set for May.

Some at the palazzo de la popolo have expressed reservations about the prosecutions, which make their great leader appear to be a nasty bully, clamping down on dissent. They could still persuade the AG, who is answerable to nobody, to suspend the prosecutions, which are guaranteed to cause more embarrassment to the comrade with the fragile ego and not-so-slim bum.

THE GOOD news is that the comrade started making off-the-cuff statements in public again on Friday for the first time since his return from Greentree. He was incensed because his outline for the Cyprob settlement, which he had given to the party leaders, had found its way into the papers, sparking howls of protest by the opposition.

He spoke in his usual, morally superior, didactic style, moaning that “the criticism was from an ethical and substantive viewpoint unacceptable, showing a lack of respect and exceeding all limits.” Of course the opposition politicians, unlike our great leader, had “placed their ambitions to sit in the presidential chair above the national interest.” 

They do not realise that for the national interest to be served the presidential chair must be occupied by the owner of a big bum.

LATER the same day, the comrade made a complete fool of himself when he turned on our good friend the Rector of Cyprus University Costas Christofides.

Tof was attending a graduation ceremony for students who had completed post-grad studies. Christofides made an excellent speech, telling the students that people deserved something better from our country, more democracy and accountability. It was a measured speech looking to the future and to how to improve our society.

The comrade took great offence. On completing his prepared speech he turned to the Rector and moving his forefinger, like a teacher would do at a naughty kid, told him: “Because Mr Rector I cannot stand provocation, I want to thank you for the nice lecture, but also to invite you to discuss these matters because I do not like being invited, being supposedly the guest of honour, and hearing a torrent of criticism.

“I therefore invite you and the senate, if you want, so we can talk sensibly, on a scientific basis, as equals, the issues of the crisis – the world crisis.”

We hope the meeting will be open to the public because everyone wants to hear the comrade talk sensibly and on a scientific basis.

I HAVE no intention of going into the great halloumi debate, which dominated the news at the start of the week. But I liked the announcement issued by the Pancyprian Organisation of Goat and Sheep farmers, after it was decided to withdraw our application for registering our national cheese as a Protected Designation of Origin, because of disagreements over the type of milk that should be used.

The Association said the withdrawal of the application was “a bomb to the foundations of Cypriot livestock breeding,” and added: “This development confirms the government’s inability to respond to the demands of the great issues of our country such as halloumi.”

MINISTER of Justice and Public Order Loucas Louca announced his six-year national action plan for fighting crime, but I would not cancel any orders for burglar alarms yet.

The plan aims to combat crime by “moulding” the characters of young people in a way they “can face the problems that plague society in a more effective way”. This ingenious plan falls under the category, ‘Prevention and Reduction of Factors Causing Crime.’

It is a long-term project that according to Louca would “bear fruit over the next 20 years.” If crime gangs are running the country in the meantime, do not despair because in 20 years time law and order will prevail again.

ANYONE who still doubted that the Garoyians are the happiest and most in-love married couple in Kyproulla, after reading Rotika’s interview in Must magazine, will not be able to discount the latest evidence of their undying love for each other.

Last week’s OK! Magazine had a picture of the couple kissing on the lips on its front cover, with the headline, “The kiss that disproves their separation.” Inside, the rag reported that Marios had gone to a restaurant to pick up his wife who was out with an all-female group, and take her home. 

“The two greeted each other with a tender kiss on the lips,” the rag reported, and then quoted an acquaintance of the couple as saying: “They are as in love as the first time they met. What each feels for the other has not changed, nor was it ever doubted by their circle.” We are pleased to hear that Marios has not allowed the stress and anguish he feels about the critical phase the Cyprob is going through to affect his marriage.