Three quarters of the world’s population knows what it is to go hungry. Half of the world’s population lives at or below starvation level. In Western society however just over one quarter of the population is on a diet. Take away from that figure those that are medically managed diets - diabetics, coeliacs, allergics and so on - and there are still around 20 per cent of us on a diet, and nearly all of those are weight-reducing diets.

There is a huge, quasi-medical subculture that is growing fat out of other people getting thin. Loads of these self-styled health gurus know that obesity diets and management are a splendid way of fattening their bank balances. This, mainly, because almost no diet works.

There are two things to realise about weight control. First, we are not evolved to cope with the present lifestyle of the affluent society. We are evolved to be hunter-gatherers, which humans were until recent times. They worked, walked or ran perhaps 20 miles a day. When they found food they gorged on it, and then they slept long and heavily. We, on the other hand, eat on and off all day. And only the best sleepers get more than six or eight hours a night. The second thing to know is that, for the most part, you don’t get fat from eating too much, unless you are a glutton that is. You get fat from using up fewer calories in exercise than you eat. You then stay fat from just eating as much as you use. This means you can stay fat while eating very little, if your exercise level is low enough.

This tells us how to lose weight. Either you must eat less or you must use up more calories, preferably both. Fad diets are a waste of time, most dieters have tried loads and failed on every one. And don’t believe the nitwits who promise you will lose six pounds in the first week. There’s only one way, short of amputation, to lose six pounds a week and that is by losing water. That does not involve losing body tissue.

And don’t believe the person who says you have a different metabolism. Except in cases of genuine disease, thyroid gland disorders, for example, human metabolism is pretty much the same whoever and wherever you are. Furthermore, take with a grain of salt the fatso who explains it’s because she and her family are all ‘big boned.’ The difference in bone weight between a fat lady and a thin one is very small indeed.

OK, you ask. If I haven’t got the energy to exercise and I have not got the will power to resist calories what should I do? Well, the blunt but genuine truth is that you might as well just get used to being overweight. But that seems a little hard so let’s try to be genuinely helpful. Here is my own scientifically developed routine. It is based on only two requirements. First and foremost - adopt the five per cent rule. Don’t be in a hurry. Set your mind on losing half a pound to a pound per week for as many weeks as it takes. All you do is to cut your food intake by five per cent and, at the same time, increase your exercise by five per cent. In anybody’s language a five per cent change is easily attainable. It probably means just one less potato per day. And a half mile walk or its equivalent accounts for the exercise bit. Whatever you eat, eat slowly. There is a built-in mechanism that tells you to stop eating when you are full. But it takes a little time to work. If you eat slowly it will work before you have gulped down too much. Try it and you’ll find it’s true. The long, drawn-out family meal works better than the quick snack ‘on the hoof.’ You can just as easily get the same effect by becoming an active or ‘busy’ person. Keep moving, don’t use the car so much, do something all the time instead of keeping still. It’s easy and it works like magic. The only other thing that is a wonderful help is to get an anti-obesity self-hypnosis CD, they cost about a tenner and can be used over and over again and by your friends and family too.

It’s all that easy!