THE PRESIDENTIAL palace would be more aptly named the Palace of Versailles if you consider the number of courtiers it has on its payroll with fancy titles.

In total some 140 people work at the palace, but this also includes menials such as five ‘class A’ waiters, three domestic helpers, five office cleaners, seven gardeners, six mail-room staff, four messengers, plus IT staff, 10 administrative staff. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon probably employed fewer gardeners than our palace.

There are seven ‘presidency advisors’ with titles like, ‘Advisor of Communications and Public Relations of Secretariat for Coordination and Support of Government Work’ and ‘Advisor/Associate of the President of the Republic and Secretariat for Coordination and Support of Government Work.’ The Diplomatic Office of the President also employs a guy titled ‘Deputy SHERPA.’

There is also an ‘Advisor/Associate of Government Spokesman’, despite the fact the spokesman has a deputy, a PIO officer, a secretary and a director of the president’s press office to help him perform his job, not to mention the ‘Advisor of Communications and Public Relations of the Secretariat for Coordination and Support of Government Work.’

The ‘director of the president’s office’, also has a ‘coordinator’ presumably to coordinate the three secretaries because the director is too busy.

UNDER-SECRETARY to the president and close pal of Mrs Prez, Irene Piki, meanwhile has her own small palace within Versailles.

Apart from a director of her office, a registrar and a “Class A Forestry Officer’ she is also in charge of the ‘Secretariat for the Coordination and Support of the Government Work’ which numbers 13 people. On the plus side, the Secretariat is not an additional cost as it employs civil servants from different ministries.

There is also the ‘Office of the first lady’ that, apart from a director, employes a ‘Private Secretary/Secretarial Officer’, a ‘Commerce and Industry Officer’ and an ‘Assistant Secretarial Officer.’

Mrs Prez has another four staff employed at the Independent Social Support Body, which manages the money she raises from anonymous donors for worthy causes. Apart from a ‘social services officer’ and a ‘clerk’ she also employs two ‘Assistant Secretarial Officers.’

IN TOTAL the presidency has about 280 staff – which seems rather excessive – of whom only half work at the palace. Some 64 of them work at the secretariat for the Cyprus Presidency of the Council of the European Union and half are on fixed term contracts.

The remaining 81 are commissioners and the hangers-on that serve them. The biggest of these is the Office of the Member of the Committee of Missing Persons which employs some 30 people on fixed term contracts, to assist investigations.

I was rather disappointed to see that the Commissioner of Gender Equality, Josie Christodoulou, has three women working for her and only one man, making a bit of a mockery of the ‘gender equality’ tag. One of the workers seconded to this office is a ‘Veterinary Inspector,’ which makes you wonder how this expertise would be useful to the pursuit of gender equality.

Will the commissioner start promoting gender equality among farm animals as well?

THRILLED to see that the socialist former minister of labour, Yiannis Panayiotou, is not giving up politics after his axing in the cabinet reshuffle. According to Phil, there was a possibility Panayiotou would stand for Diko, although his interest was not given, and no official approach had been made to him by the party.

In other words, this was a non-story, even though Phil was convinced his candidacy would “add dynamic and political depth,” to Diko. Panayiotou was not happy to leave the ministry and got his own back on the Prez by announcing during the handover ceremony, that the minimum wage would increase to €1,125.

This came out of the blue as no agreement was reached, but the government would appear very unsympathetic to the lowly-paid when it agrees to a lower figure than the one bequeathed by Panayiotou that protector of the workers.

SPEAKING of the reshuffle, I am informed that the Prezniktwo has still not been able to banish the toxic influence of his mentor and political godfather Preznikone.

Marios Hartsiotis, who was the man of Nik the First from days of the golden passports, may have been axed in the reshuffle because he was bit of a disaster as justice minister, but he was made presidential commissioner. It was a 24-carat demotion, but it was a way of not pissing off Nik I too much.

Fittingly, Hartsiotis was replaced at the justice and public order ministry by another Nik I loyalist, the self-proclaimed Rambo of politics, Constinatinos Fitiris. This was not the first time Fitiris, the nephew of a former Paralimni mayor, benefited from Nik’s patronage. He quit the national guard before retirement age to take on the job of general of Ayia Napa marina, having no experience of running a marina. The fact that Nik’s son-in-law is on the board of Ayia Napa marina may provide an explanation.

The million-dollar question is why does Nik I insist on having his own man at the justice ministry, and the cheaper question is why does Nik II oblige?

IT WAS reported that the appointment of Clea Hadjistefanou-Papaellina as deputy minister of social welfare, was aimed at mending fences with the Papaellinas empire that had substantially helped the Prez’s election campaign with cash and TV coverage.

Andreas Papaellinas, owner of AlphaMega supermarkets, Alpha TV, Beauty Line and more, before the reshuffle was telling friends that he was pissed off with the Prez’s ingratitude – as he would never return the old man’s calls.

By appointing the daughter-in-law, Prez must hope he would be back in favour. The irony is that he gave a member of one of the richest families of the country, the ministry that deals with the plight of the poorest plebs and unfortunate people of Kyproulla. It is a bit like having Queen Marie Antoinette in charge of the welfare and well-being of the sans culotte.

NEWS about the teenage Neo-Nazis at a Larnaca secondary school got the media folk all worked up, presenting the existence of a few dozen, stupid and immature kids influenced by websites as a big threat to society.

There was no universal outcry, however, when fascistic thugs issued threats against a Paphos gallery owner and his family because he had exhibited the irreverent paintings of Giorgos Gavriel that were deemed offensive to our religion. Politicians, the archbishop, hacks and other fanatics turned on the hapless artist, while the gallery owner cancelled the exhibition for his family’s safety. Kyproulla had turned into Iran.

On Thursday night thugs fired firecrackers at Gavriel’s house. This disgraceful intolerance and contempt for artistic freedom seem to be more of a threat to our democracy than a few dozen silly kids posing as Neo-Nazis.

THE PREZ, did not cover himself in glory by leaking to the media information that during his meeting with Tufan Erhurman, the Turkish Cypriot leader had twice left the room in order to consult with Turkey’s foreign minister about what to do.

It turns out that Erhurman was calling the mayor of occupied Nicosia, Mehmet Harmanci, to ask for information about the Mia Milia treatment plant as he was discussing how to make better use of it with the Prez, as a confidence-building measure.

The Prez knew this but did not deem it necessary to put the record straight, allowing the misinformation he was the source of to become fact for the media.

VERY PLEASED to see that society has finally turned against the arrogant teaching unions who caused mass inconvenience with Thursday’s industrial action, which was part of their ongoing campaign to prevent the proper evaluation of a teacher’s work.

Of course, the union bosses argued that they were simply exercising the sacred right to strike. In reality, it was the sacred right to do their job as badly and lazily possible without consequences, that they were defending. It is a right they have enjoyed for so long it may be included in the Convention of Human Rights.