THE WAY THINGS ARE

By Colette NiReamonn Ioannidou

January swept in coquettishly pretending to be April, the warmth enticing roses to unfurl. Then, when the brute had us all fooled by that false sweetness, it let loose its true identity and showered us and the roses with fat blobs of cold rain and blow-dried us with icy winds with snowfall in the mountains. It was a pleasing deception and would have been a perfect advert for winter tourism had Covid-19 not put the kibosh on that end of our economic income.

I wondered if, as water levels in our dams began to drop and fear of a very dry summer loomed, had someone in the Met department engaged a rain dancer to do his/her magic act on (our) Mount Olympus pleading with the clouds above to send some rain. If so, it worked. We are almost at the end of the dreaded January and I didn’t make the traditional resolutions as it began knowing they’ll wither and die, torturing me with a guilty conscience as on their last gasp they call me a loser.

I’ve decided instead to try to see things as they are, mind full of mindfulness, and to take a considered, philosophical (ho hum) reaction to what the game of life throws at me. Whether that will do any better than failed resolutions, who knows? In the Chinese horoscope I’m a sheep/goat, probably a ram, horned creatures that butt when bothered. If there were an Irish pantheon, I’d be a donkey, stubborn and set in my ways and the only thing I’d butt is fate along with myself.

If I haven’t managed to rein in all my faults by this stage in my life, I probably never will. Resignation has never sat well on me, mainly because I’m an idiot whose nature hangs onto the belief that things are possible if you don’t give up. After all, Donald Trump became President of the United States, upholding Americans’ favourite slogan that anyone can attain that office in the US. I watched The Death of 2020 where Joe Biden, a hugely experienced politician and America’s new president was lampooned, as is the thing now, to present him as senile or doddery, because of his age.

‘He has a younger vice president in case he keels over,’ was the chorus to the oft played tune ‘Alzheimer’s is on the campaign trail with him’. Age combined with youth can be a productive pairing if those concerned listen to each other. At times, the elder feels superior and disregards the younger’s input. Each generation has different experiences to the previous one. So, long term knowledge of what can evolve in situations, added to the new-present thoughts and information of younger brains, can be a propitious thing.

Think David Attenborough and Greta Thunberg who seem to have found the same stream of thought to sail on despite the immense age gap between them. As he/she said, ‘It’s not about us; it’s about the science.’ No one asserts that that amazing man in his nineties is doddery: he’s still contributing to the world around him as are many other amazing older people in all walks of life. A 90-year-old I knew once advised, ‘Put the price on yourself you expect others to pay.’ Age does not always signify the walking dead. She was tick-tocking clearly up to her death, a petite, genteel fireball of mental liveliness who had travelled widely and knew much.

Speaking of The Death of 2020, I thought Hugh Grant, of whom I have never been a fan, now older, looked and spoke pretty much like David Attenborough and suddenly, I liked him. By the way, did anyone notice the colour of the map of Cyprus in that title?

While pondering the month I had a Viber call one morning that oddly had a Bank of Cyprus logo where the little roundy pictures usually reside. I said, ‘Hello’ and a man with a strong Asian accent informed me he was calling from the bank with regard to my account. I told him to go forth and multiply ‘…you bloody scammer!’ He replied with venom I should do the same. I had to laugh, because I had the impression the bank would not a) be employing an Asian clerk, or b) calling me via Viber.

The B of C does inform us of emerging scams yet it seems this rather naïve person or gang had tried the same obvious nonsense with others. One chap, I heard of on Facebook, humorously played a scammer along telling him he wasn’t with the B of C but Hellenic Bank and would he like those details instead. The scammer readily agreed.

This new year, politically, will be a decisive one for our island. Let’s hope whatever ‘resolutions’ are undertaken in the Cyprob, they will stick better than any lesser, personal ones I might have undertaken.