‘The aliens eat Facebook.’ That is a line someone wrote, edited, approved, and filmed

The Covid-19 era was completely insane. For months, we were stuck at home, unable to go out, doing absolutely nothing except playing video games all day and watching movies nonstop. Yes, truly a miserable, dreadful time. Oh, how I loathed it. Yeeeah…

So anyway, during those dark days, people came up with all sorts of ridiculous ideas. For example, the fine people at Amazon Prime decided to reboot a recognisable ΙP. Their big idea? Remake War of the Worlds in a way that reflects the times, meaning it would all take place through computer screens. Zoom calls, surveillance cameras, smartphone footage. You get the idea. Add in a bankable star like Ice Cube, and boom, you’ve got yourself a movie.

Or, you know, a “movie.”

Technically, yes, it qualifies as a movie. But I genuinely cannot overstate how terrible this film is. It is without question the worst movie of 2025. It’s so bad, Amazon sat on it for five years before deciding to release it. And when they did, it wasn’t so much a release as it was an unleashing upon an unsuspecting world.

Being the brave soul that I am, I watched it. So you don’t have to.

Ice Cube stars as Will Randfor, a Homeland Security agent who is, for all intents and purposes, a god. I’m not exaggerating. Will is a super-hacker capable of breaking into any device, anywhere, at any time, in seconds. He single-handedly coordinates the police, the FBI, the government, the judiciary. Every aspect of society runs through him. Oh, and he works alone. The man is basically playing life with every cheat code enabled.

Naturally, he’s a widower. He has two kids: a daughter who is pregnant and academically successful, and a son who’s a gamer. Will constantly berates his son for that, of course.

The film opens with Will casually monitoring everyone on the planet through various surveillance feeds and voice recordings, assessing their threat levels. Just a normal day in a free society.

Then he gets a call from a NASA scientist who wants his thoughts on some massive storms that just popped up all over the globe. These storms were so intense they knocked out every NASA satellite for two days. Let me repeat that: global storms took down a government agency’s entire satellite system, and no one seems remotely concerned. The scientist’s tone is basically, “So, what do you think?” like she’s asking about a weird mole, not a planetary-level event. Will’s response? “I watch people, not the weather.”

That’s the moment I started screaming at my laptop.

Later, he gets a call from his son-in-law, an Amazon delivery driver. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention: this entire movie is one long, grotesque Amazon commercial. At one point, the world is literally saved by Amazon drones. I wish I were making this up.

And if you think the visual effects could possibly redeem this disaster, I have terrible news. I am 100 per cent convinced that if they had subscribed to a basic AI tool and asked it for special effects, they would have ended up with a better product. The animation is so amateur it makes Sharknado look like Avengers: Endgame.

The acting? Don’t get me started. Roughly 80 per cent of the movie is Ice Cube staring at screens and reacting to whatever happens. Other respectable actors, like Eva Longoria and Clark Gregg, appear only via phone calls and deliver their lines like they’re reading off a cue card while waiting for coffee. They are, quite literally, phoning it in.

After the aliens finally show up and chaos erupts, the entire US government somehow rallies under the command of one man and his laptop. During the alien invasion, Will’s daughter is injured and goes into labour. What does Will do? He hacks a Tesla, reroutes its navigation, and sends her to the nearest hospital.

While this is happening, his daughter yells at him and tells him that he isn’t all-powerful and can’t save the world. Yes, the script is as subtle as diving into a pool filled with cacti.

Then comes the big plot twist: the aliens aren’t here to conquer humanity. They’re here for data. Yes, data. Apparently, their species feeds on it. They consume everything from digital photos and government archives to, I swear I’m not joking, Facebook. The aliens eat Facebook. That is a line someone wrote, edited, approved, and filmed. Oh, and for some unknown reason, YouTube is immune.

To wrap up this trainwreck, Will discovers that his gamer son is secretly part of an elite underground hacking group with cool names like CodeCrusher. Together, they create a computer virus, upload it into the alien systems, and save the day.

Critics and viewers alike are in agreement on this one. The movie is absolute garbage. It currently holds a 0 per cent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, the lowest score ever recorded. Which, in its own way, is kind of an achievement.

Did you watch it? Did you like it?

If so… what’s wrong with you?